For those of you that don’t live in Nashville, you might not be familiar with
CMA Music Fest (formerly known as Fan Fair). Once a year, every country music lover in the whole wide world descends upon Nashville to show their fanaticism. It’s awful and awesome all at the same time. It also happens to be the one and only time when you see thousands of people in Nashville wearing cowboy hats. I promise you, no one who actually lives in Nashville walks around donning a straw hat, cowboy boots and a sparkly belt buckle.
At the beginning of the week, I was dreading the impending festival. As someone who works downtown, it would mean terrible traffic, nowhere to park and my favorite lunch spots overtaken by throngs of annoying tourists.
But then, as the fans start pouring in, I remember why I love the CMT Fest after all….people watching! My co-worker, Laura M., and I decided to spend our lunch at Panera Bread. The patio was the perfect spot – it looks down 5th Avenue, which connects the Sommet Center and the Nashville Convention Center, places where many of the festivities take place. During our hour-long lunch, we saw some interesting things. Here’s a Top 10 list of what we saw:
- About 500 straw cowboy hats (no, we didn’t count, but there were a lot!)
- About 700 neon orange CMT souvenir bags (again, just an estimate)
- Seven or eight guys on Harleys
- Random musicians/group practicing on the sidewalk
- An old woman in a tank top, but NO bra
- People wearing shirts about three sizes too small
- Several tattoos that used to be a bit smaller than they are now
- People wearing fanny packs, tube socks, tennis shoes, cowboy hats and cameras around their necks
- A mullet or two...and last, but definitely not least…
- The Naked Cowboy
Yes, that’s right. We saw man strumming a guitar wearing nothing but cowboy boots, a hat and lovely whitey tighties that said “Naked Cowboy” across his derriere. Kid you not. At first, I thought we were the only ones who noticed him. But before long, there were throngs of people dying to get a picture with this guy in all his glory. Here’s a picture Laura M. snapped of him from her iPhone. It's a tad small, but you get the gist.

When we got back to the office, we looked him up and realized that this was not just some random guy who likes to get attention, but someone who has some really bad songs and likes to take his semi-nakedness cross country. You can see a better picture of him doing his thing
here. Believe it or not, you can get your very own pair of
Naked Cowboy underwear for $15! And, just like the Web site says, they are skid mark free – what more could you want?!
I would spend more time at the CMA Fest, but I’m afraid I might explode from seeing an overload of shirts adorned with rhinestones and airbrushed designs. I think, for now, I’ll savor my hour-long memory until next year.